Emurse

Understanding Body Language

Most everyone’s body language is a bit different. Some body language might represent learned behaviors, while some of it might also be cultural (a thumbs up means drastically different things in various parts of the world).

There does seem to be a certain amount of it hard coded into our DNA however. Studies have been done illustrating the movements of blind children and their similarities with children who had perfect sight. Hand movements when illustrating points, pouting and other emotional gestures are examples of this kind of behavior.

When trying to read someone’s body language, it is also important to note that some language might simply be the result of circumstance. For example, maybe the person you are reading is cold and has crossed their arms in response.

How to Read Body Language

Here is a handy list of body language signs. Given the proper context, these nonverbal cues can help you with interpreting body language.

Examples of Body Language

Body hunched - low confidence
Clenched fists - aggression
Crossed arms - shut off, uncomfortable
Dragging feet - lethargy
Dropped shoulders - lethargy or weariness
Fidgeting with objects, hands - nervous
Hands behind head - arrogance, superiority
Hands on hips - in defiance
Hands on table - in agreement
Head down - timidity
Head rested on hand - bored, disinterested
Leaning away - discomfort with the situation
Leaning in closer - interest, comfortable
Looking at watch - boredom
Looking away to the left - lying
Messaging temples - anxiety
Nodding - interest, agreement or understanding
No eye contact - lack of confidence, lying
Shaking of legs - a sign of stress
“Shifty” eyes - nervousness
Stroking of chin - thinking, in thought
Tapping foot - impatient or nervous
Wiping hands on clothes - nervousness

How to Tell if Someone is Lying

One of the most sought after secrets of understanding body language is the ability to tell if someone is lying to you. Does body language tell if someone is lying? While it is a nearly impossible to know for sure if someone is telling the truth, there are a few signs of lying you can keep an eye out for.

The first symptom of lying is lack of eye contact. If someone is noticeably nervous and shifting their eyes around, or better, looking to the side as the speak to you, this is a common symptom of lying. Watch the subject’s hands, if they touch their hand/mouth/throat while speaking, this is another common behavior.

Study the person’s emotions and their statements. If their body gestures do not match, or are oddly timed (”I really like my gift!” and then smiling afterwards), there is a decent chance that they may not be telling the truth. Further signs of lying are if the person turns away, shifts their body somehow in another direction, or places objects in between the two of you.

Liars, especially liars who are not well practiced, will show signs of nervousness. Use your own judgment in regards to the circumstances and context, and remember, you can never be 100% sure.

Improve Your Body Language

Improving your body language will help you come across as more confident. It will also help make you a more persuasive salesman, which is a trait that can aid you in a variety of circumstances. It is important to understand that you shouldn’t force your body language, but rather be aware of it to help control your emotions and tactics. Forced body language can come across as awkward and strange. Most of us can usually spot unnatural movements.

There are different body language expectations for different circumstances. On a job interview, you want to appear calm, cool and collected. You want to come across as confident and in control. You do not want to come across as creepy. Prolonged eye contact, close talking — these may be appropriate on an intimate date, but not in a job interview!

Here are some tips we’ve come across to help improve your body language:

• Smile and laugh - Laughter is contagious, it will also help put you in a positive mood. Your body language will naturally improve because of it.
• Slow down, breathe regularly - Nothing will stress you out more than moving at full speeds. Don’t walk fast, don’t talk fast and remember to breathe. Not only will this help calm you down, it’ll calm down the people around you who pick up on stressful vibes.
• Use your body with purpose - No fidgeting and keep your hands out of your pockets. Don’t be afraid to take up a little space. Show you are comfortable in the situation, not put-up-your-feet comfortable, but that you are in control and unafraid. Use your hands to expand on points or call attention to important statements.
• Hold objects by your side - If you have a drink in hand, keep it to your side, not in front of your chest. Holding your drink in front of your chest can express the same feelings as if you were standing with your arms crossed. Relax.
• Show your interest - Nod occasionally to let the person you are interacting with know that you are listening and are in agreement. Leaning in is another way to show your interest, just be careful not to lean in to soon or to often, or you may creep them out.
• Eye contact is powerful - Make eye contact with the people you are talking to, just don’t stare. Breaking eye contact downward is generally more positive than breaking eye contact to the sides. If you have trouble looking people in the eye, try looking at their nose instead. They won’t be able to tell.
• Mirror - This is a tough one because it can be hard to pull off. When two people have strong rapport, their actions and body language will naturally start to mirror each other. If you can, you can stimulate this by consciously doing it. Just be careful, as if you get it wrong, it will be really awkward for everyone.

We hope that this tutorial on understanding body language can help you become a more persuasive person. When job hunting, your confidence and attitude will carry you through and increase the chance of your success. Understanding how to read body language and improve your own will be a valuable trait!

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